Good evening dear readers of the blog "Rainbow - Alkostad.ru".Today the main issue on the agenda: "How to resolve the conflict!? ".Yes, conflict situations cause not only negative emotions and mental tension in us, but also, in fact, lead to tangible benefits in that they contribute to resolving contradictions and clarifying the initial positions of the parties.
We will talk about the main ways to resolve and prevent social interpersonal conflict situations.
Most people avoid conflict situations, because they do not know how to effectively construct a conflict conversation-dialogue. Below the proposed recommendations will help start the conversation in such a way that, it does not provoke a defensive reaction among partners-partners and promotes cooperation with them.
How to solve the conflict?
For constructive resolution of conflicts and situations, you can use the following basic methods for resolving them:
Give the interlocutor "release steam".After all, when he is irritated and aggressive, it is necessary to help him discharge his inner tension. Since this has not happened yet, it is impossible to negotiate with him.
At the moment of his emotional explosion behave calmly and confidently, but not arrogantly. Since he is as suffering a man as you are, regardless of his social status. And, if a person is aggressive, he is overwhelmed with negative emotions. With a good balanced background of mood, people are not motivated by throwing at each other.
Best reception: imagine that there is an aura around you, or a shell, similar to an oval( egg) through which it is impossible to pass aggression charges. You are isolated and are in a protective cocoon. A little imagination, and this trick works.
Ask your interlocutor to calmly substantiate their claims to your address. Tell that your account is subject only to irrefutable facts and their objective evidence. People always tend to confuse facts and emotions. And discard and neutralize emotions with questions: "What do you say refers to obvious facts or simply opinion, your guess?"
Kill aggressive attacks with unexpected techniques. For example, ask in confidence from the conflicting party interlocutor. Ask unexpected questions on other topics, but these topics should be relevant to him. Remind that you were associated with him in the past and that was very comfortable.
Do compliments( "In anger you are even more attractive. ..", "Your anger is actually much smaller than I expected", "You are cold-blooded in a difficult situation. .."), etc.
You can express sympathy: an example,that he( she) has lost too much. It is important that your requests, memories, compliments can reorient the point of attention of an angry partner from negative emotions to positive ones.
Do not give the interlocutor a negative assessment, but tell me more about your feelings. Do not say: "You deceive me," it sounds much better: "I feel betrayed."It is not necessary to say: "You are a rude person", it is more appropriate to say: "I am very upset at how you are talking to me".
Ask to formulate the final result and the problem itself as a chain of obstacles. After all, the problem - this is exactly what you need to solve. Attitude towards a person is a given background or conditions in which one has to decide. A contemptuous attitude towards a person or a partner can prompt you not to solve problems. This is something you can not do! Do not let the emotions control you! Identify the primary problem together with the interlocutor and concentrate on it.
Ask the partner to express his thoughts on resolving the conflict problem and offer his options for solving it. Do not look for the guilty and explain the negative situation, find a way out of it. Do not stop at the first, as it seems acceptable, but create a range of options. And only then choose the most effective of them. When searching for solutions to problems
Remember that you should always look for mutually acceptable solutions for both conflicting parties. You and your opponent must be satisfied together. There must be two people in the argument of the winners!
If it is not possible to negotiate, find an objective position for the agreement( certain regulations, federal and regional laws, objective facts, existing regulations and instructions).
In any case, let the opponent "keep his face" and status. Do not let yourself dissolve and react with your aggression to outside aggression. Do not hurt the dignity of a person. The opponent will not be able to forgive this, even if he is forced to yield to pressure. Let's evaluate the actions and actions of a person, but not his personality. You can say: "You have not twice fulfilled the promised one," but to say that you are an unessential person is unproductive and irrational.
Reflect, as a mirror, the meaning of the opponent's statements and his claims. It seems that everything is clear, but still: "Did I understand you correctly?", "Did you mean to say. ..?", "Let me retell, in order to see if I understood you correctly".Such tactics can eliminate misunderstandings, and it shows your attention to the person. And this also reduces his aggression.
Try to keep in position "on an equal footing" with the interlocutor. The majority of people, when they are attacked by aggression, respond to the same or give way, are hushed up to pay off the interlocutor. Both positions do not give the proper effect. Stick to a firm position on an equal footing.
Do not be afraid to apologize if you feel guilty. This disarms the opponent and causes him to respect you. After all, only mature individuals are capable of making their own mistakes.
It's useless to prove your point. In any conflict situations, it is never possible for anyone to prove anything. Negative emotions block the ability to understand. The work of thinking stops. The rational part of the brain turns off.
Shut up first. If you are careless in losing control, shut up. Peace will give an answer.
Your silence allows you to defuse tension and quarrel. In each conflict, two parties take part, and if one disappeared, then with whom to quarrel? Do not pour oil on the fire.
Bullying, malevolence acts like a red rag at the bull. To stop the scandal, you need to ignore the fact of quarrel, negative negative excitement of the partner, as if nothing happened.
Avoid a verbal statement of the opponent's negative emotional state: "Help in a bottle", "Why are you nervous, angry?", "What are you mad at?".Such "calming" words foment conflict.
When leaving, do not slam the door. The quarrel can be stopped when quietly, without words, leave the room. After all, if you slam the door, before leaving, to say offensive, you can cause the effect of unpredictable destructive force. Tragic cases are notorious.
Speak when the partner is "cold."Hold a pause, let him speak out.
