Probably, for every woman who is not only in an official marriage but who has linked her life with a man without a traditional stamp in her passport, it will be insulting if her partner has exactly the same intimate relationship with another representative of the same fair sex. The very fact of the betrayal of a husband, or just a close man, for any woman is always unpleasant, painful and very offensive. Emotions are heated to such an extent that they come out of volitional control. I want to take revenge, to teach my husband a lesson and punish him.In this article we will look at the various aspects of the male's betrayal and what to do, but the main thing, getting ahead, I will say that here are given practical advice and recommendations of psychologists in order to survive and forgive betrayal to her husband. Because the thirst for revenge is a momentary desire without any future, based not on wisdom and destroying all life prospects. Do not judge me at once, do not "bite", just read this article, both men and women.
How to survive betrayal - advice from the practice
Read and analyze the steps described below, apply them to yourself.
First, you need to calm down. Because only in a state of rest we acquire productive thinking. Yes, the fact of treason is obvious, but it is not worth "killing" about what happened and killing the culprit of the drama. Believe me, it is not worth it to further ruin your future. Nobody so far, thank God, has not died and is not sick. It hurts now, but time will heal the wounds of the soul and the torment will subside. Everything is relative.
Secondly, betrayal gave you the opportunity to understand what kind of person you really are with. And the earlier this happened, the more you see how much you value your relationships. Let the disease be visible, as well as lie and falseness in the relationship.
Thirdly, why did treason happen? This should be clarified. To study the quality of your relationship with a partner, his character and his own, which is not enough for each of you in your life together. Simply put, you need to identify the motive that pushed your husband to commit treason.
Fourth, frank conversation with a man can not be avoided, and the earlier you do it, the better. But it's important to keep yourself in "hands" in every possible way and as calmly as possible. It is not allowed to provoke and not create them. To roll up a scandal is the easiest, you will certainly pour out all the accumulated inside, but you can create new problems, but there will not be a productive solution! Be frank and ask your spouse to stick to a similar position. Do not be shy, talk about your feelings, you can use the practical recommendations described on this site on the page devoted to the main ways to resolve conflict situations in the "Psychology" section.
Say that you are really very hurt and hurt by this form of betrayal. If you feel that in the incident there is also your indirect fault, tell your husband about this and do not know now how to live on. Let him also "plug in" the brains.
Fifthly, it is useless to twist thoughts in the head of what happened or the course and speech of the upcoming hard conversation. Diversify your life with interesting events, deeds and other things. Find an interesting case that will absorb your attention and give the soul peace and comfort. Watch your appearance, appreciate yourself.
Sixth, do not succumb to the gloomy mood and depression. Do not use the compassion of others, do not play the role of an unhappy victim, wife. And do not wait for your husband to crawl on your lap and beg you to forgive him. In fact, suddenly does not crawl? And then what? Depression again.
Seventh, start a diary. Write all that worries, torments. Let it all creep out of the soul onto paper. Write plans for tomorrow, for a week. Slowly, optimism and confidence in yourself and your forces will return to you.
If you can not overcome depression on your own, read the materials of this site, find a good psychologist or psychotherapist. Remember that taking antidepressants, tranquilizers and other soothing "lobud" only drives emotions inside, compresses them and from healthy people mentally, makes patients, and from patients - even more painful.
If, nevertheless, the husband decided to leave for another woman, open up the strength to accept it, as it is with dignity and independence. Do not ask him to stay, but let him know that he will not be able to return to you.
How to forgive the betrayal of her husband - the recommendations of psychologists?
Why am I saying this. ...Simply because without forgiveness there is no acceptance, without acceptance there is no peace of mind and harmony. Do not hold any grudge against him, although it is very difficult, but still! Under the word "forgive", I understand the notion of "letting go" - to dump the inner load from the inside, then you will find ease, joy, you will have new life prospects, who knows, surely you will have the very best future and beautiful people. If you can not forgive, remember: nothing good in life will not have to wait.
I'll try a few more details to answer the question: "Should I forgive the betrayal of my husband?".Worth it! And for this you need to consider the ability of a woman to understand and forgive. Often after it becomes known about the betrayal of her husband, the woman still makes the decision of to keep the marriage - the family. And continuing to live with a person under one roof, comes the understanding that as before nothing will happen. How do you think: "Can treason be forgiven, how to cope with it and not react so painfully?"
Family psychologists say that everything depends on how a woman can accept the situation and role in it for her husband. When he is a traitor to her, relations are knowingly doomed. And if the husband, after all, is a native person who stumbled, then it is much easier to accept and forgive treason. Naturally, the behavior of a man is of great importance. When he has a desire to maintain a relationship, he understands and decides to save the family, then maybe the decision has made it possible not to divorce the culmination point.
I must say how to get revenge, to teach a lesson, to punish your husband for treason in practical advice of psychologists is not included. This is "competence", or "profile" of primitive fortune tellers, sorcerers and witches. We should strive for peace and creation, for the sake of our future, our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, not to destroy everything under the negative zombifying influence of negative and aggressive emotions.
How to live after the betrayal of her husband advice of a psychologist
Life with betrayal of her husband, the first time, of course, is not easy. There will be psychotraumatic experiences in my head, a feeling of resentment and tears coming up. Time will pass, everything will gradually settle down. If the spouse understands how he wounded you, this period will be much easier, and you will manage everything and rebuild the conjugal relationship.
It's easier to behave here, as usual, as if nothing bad happened. But only here is how to forget the betrayal of a husband, if he continues to enter into intimate relationships with other women? Everything is much more complicated here. Understand yourself first in yourself, do you need such a life together? If not, then there is nothing to lose, make plans for life as if you are alone, but you will certainly cope on your own with all possible difficulties.
You understand that there are a lot of tips from people( and whenever they were not needed at all), only they can not adequately help you. In general, I believe that the advice from the outside brings only harm and nothing more! Solve all by yourself! And in the practical recommendations of psychologists you will never hear a direct answer to the question: "Be divorced or not divorce?".Because a psychologist can not give you such advice! It only helps you in the process of communication to approach yourself to a certain solution during a spontaneous time interval!
As I remember, there was a woman who asked me: "I did not hear from you how to do it: should I divorce or not divorce?"I told her that I can not definitely advise you on what to do. Do not put on me the role of "the ruler of fate."Because in the future, in any case, you will accuse me both as a specialist and as a person in what will inevitably bring you disappointment. Her family had existed for another three years, and then they divorced.
In any case, after the betrayal of her husband, the family will not be the same as before. A woman becomes wiser, more realistic about life. She becomes more difficult to later believe her husband and learn to trust him. This is understandable, wisdom often comes in the form of emotional experiences. A wife - a sin to complain, let him understand and accept this, because his fault in the change itself is. Let him win the trust of his wife with good deeds and deeds!
Thanks for attention! I hope you liked my article.